Alone in the high Sierras I make my own path up the peaks. Climbing up vertical cliffs jumping seven foot gaps on very narrow ledges without ropes. One slip would certainly be my death. The rocks are cracked and covered in moss. Some places would be a 2000 foot fall to the bottom. The cracks in the narrow ledge rocks somewhat concern me. The fall would be straight down the cliff face. Alone, free climbing on high ledges above the clouds I ascend upwards on miles of cliff faces. I keep to the narrow path in my life. I have standards and criteria for myself never straying. Trying to follow God’s will onwards I go as I have done for many years. God gives guidance, but not much. Just enough to get by. All my life, for many years, I have been spiritual trying to follow God’s will for me. I do not lie; this has been part of my path for many years! I think I do not need to chair today that is ok. Anyone may chair the meeting, at some point I decide I do not care. Others should chair but not me. I finally determine I do not mind either way, God wants me to do other things today. I could not promise anyone they could chair any meeting. How could I ever do so it is not my place? He says I promised him, but I never did so. Others keep asking me, why did I promise him? All around me people start asking me, as if I would ever lie to them. It is against everything I stand for. God does not want me to lie and I do not and I will not. It is not something I do. People start tearing into me and asking why I promised him. I do not care about chairing the meeting. I really do care about God’s path for me. Honest is how God wants me to be and I am upset. I leave the meeting. Telling the truth is being on God’s narrow path for me. I do not want any people in AA to force me to do otherwise. If I lie I fall off. Having never said anything of the sort to the guy about who could or could not chair I am most upset. I do not lie. God wants me to be truthful. I am spiritual; I do not know how to be otherwise I have been so all my life. I still am. I stay on the narrow way up the high mountain cliffs. I have never fallen yet as I am still alive. When I miss the long jump between ledge rocks, or if I slip on the moss I will surely be dead. Staying on God’s path is much better.
James Vilett | AA |